Like Clockwork

As promised by ACT, on Tuesday, 08 September 2009, at 0655(EST), I received an email titled "Foreign Service Officer Test October 2009: Registration Confirmation." I have been approved to take the FSOT!

I was ecstatic! Of course, I didn't see the email till much later. Hotmail access is blocked at work, so I can only check my personal email via my iPhone. However, I happened to be taking my Portuguese DLPT that particular morning. During the halfway point break, I found out I had received the "invite" to take the FSOT. Very exciting, indeed. I (almost) immediately copied the address link to the FSOT registration page, and navigated to it on my work computer (luckily, that site is not blocked). By the time I logged in to get an appointment date/time to take the FSOT, though, my preferred location was all booked (San Jose). I had to choose an alternate location: the next closest place. I chose Oakland. There were four dates available. But which one should I choose? I couldn't decide! I think my nerves got the best of me. I kept looking back and forth between the dates on my computer screen, and the calendar on my desk, trying to decide which date would interfere less with work, which date worked better, which date would give me an extra edge studywise. By the time I settled on a date, the first available, the page refreshed, and that date was no longer available. I panicked!

I immediately went for the next best date, which was still available, and booked it: Friday, 09 October 2009, at 1300(L). I plan to go up to Oakland the day before, spend the night at a local motel near the test site, where I can study quietly the evening and morning prior to the exam.

Until then, I continue to diligently study, review, study, review...and I just can't wait!

From P90X to Bahrain...or the Reserves?

This will be a year of change. It may not be the traditional start of the year, given that it's August now; but starting today, and over the course of the next year, something's gotta give. I've got lots of plans (A, B, C, D, etc.). I'm keeping all my options open, closing none until I'm certain which path to follow.

For starters, I took the CPO exam, first time up, this past January. I made board. It felt great, because it was my first time taking the E-7 exam, and I had heard stories from those who had taken it before me about how difficult an exam it was. I found it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. I knew I hadn't aced it by any means, but I thought it was fair. I even finished early. So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I had passed the exam. The exam results were followed by months of waiting for the board to convene and announce the results, i.e., whom they had chosen to be new Navy Chiefs. That list came out last Friday, 31Jul09. I was NOT on the list. To be perfectly honest, I knew I wouldn't be on the list. The quota called for 9 Arabic CPOs from the group of 31, or so, who had passed the E-7 exam. I knew I'd be at the bottom of that list, and I knew exactly why. I know what I have to work on, whether or not I agree with it.

Anyway, not making Chief may have been a blessing in disguise. For the past year, or more, I've been fantasizing about leaving the Navy after 10+ years of service to do something more fulfilling. I felt that if I made Chief, I'd find it very difficult to turn right around and get out; I felt I'd be disappointing a lot of people. However, as my friend Marcy (SCPO ret.) pointed out, I have to do what makes me happy.

The fact that I've been sitting on the fence for so long, trying to make a final decision as to whether or not I'll get out, is a huge indicator that I'm itching for a change, that I'm not satisfied, and that I should follow my heart. Keeping from doing something, or NOT following your dreams --whether or not the path is clear-- out of fear of failure, or the unknown, leads to a life half-lived. In fact, if those who came before us avoided following their dreams out of fear of change and the unknown, we wouldn't have cars, airplanes, telephones...we'd be nowhere.

So I've researched several possibilities for my new future over the past year, everything from going back to grad school to getting into teaching, to becoming a massage therapist; in fact, I took several classes at the local junior college last semester. But my greatest desire, my biggest dream, my calling, is to become a Foreign Service Officer. It's an idea I've entertained in the past. I never took the exam before because I was still executing my Navy contract, coupled with fear that I'd fail the test. But now I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I'm on a crusade. I registered for the FSOT that's coming up in October. I'm studying and reviewing lots of material in an effort to prepare for the exam. I hope I pass; I'll give it my all to pass. But should I fail, I'll take it again, and again, and again until I pass. Persistence is key, and I know that's where I'm meant to be.

In the meantime, I'll continue to prepare myself for a PCS back to Bahrain (should I not pass the FSOT this time around), get my clearance and medical up-to-date, work on my MTS qual, etc. I'm also looking into the possibility of transitioning to Troops to Teachers and the Navy Reserves, if I decide to get out, and to bide my time while I continue my efforts to become an FSO. If TTT doesn't work out, there's always my good old temp agency in Miami, or the new Post-9/11 GI Bill. So I guess I'll be asking for a TAP class soon ;)